


Life with the Resistance

by EmorySkywalker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rescue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24494590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmorySkywalker/pseuds/EmorySkywalker
Summary: This is a sequel to After Exegol, where Ben Solo and Rey went back to the Resistance after a few days on Ahch-To figuring out what they want. Now, they are both members of the Resistance, but the past of Kylo Ren, and the future of Ben Solo is still a question. Until the Generals and other Leaders figure out his fate, they live their life on Ajan Kloss, trying to help wherever they can. They have an awesome relationship, but they are not a couple. But they are about to be!
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Questions

**Author's Note:**

> I gave up my idea of being faithful the the characters as we know them - the sequel is going to bu fluffy, just because I want it to be like that! :D I hope you'll like it!

Two week had passed since Rey and Ben arrived to Ajan Kloss. They adjusted well to this new life-style. Now, everybody knew that they were sharing Rey's quarters, so Ben just simply moved his few things there, and the Resistance got an extra room. The problem of handling Ben's dark past was hanging over them like Damocles's sword, but the present situation was convenient for everybody: Ben helped the generals with his knowledge of the First Order, and in turn he was free to do whatever. Whatever that didn't include a weapon.

Ben and Rey did the training course every day, setting up new challenges for each other. They meditated together, and practiced saber fight - training was the only exception to the weapon rule. It didn't really make sense, because Ben could have used the Force anytime, if he had some kind of evil plan, but it made everybody comfortable, and Ben didn't really feel restricted by it, so it worked.

Ben was known for sleeping a lot, he said that he was trying to catch up on the time he missed when he was Kylo Ren. Rey always woke up earlier and was ready to start her day, when Ben was still trying to wake up next to a cup of coffee. He definitely was not a morning person. They were joking a lot about him wearing his mask and the cowl to cover his morning face...

This morning, Rey was standing in the dining hall with her tray, looking around where to sit. She noticed Rose in the corner waving her. She smiled and walked over her:

\- Hey Rose, how are you?

\- Hello! I feel this is going to be a good day. Where is your dark prince? - Rose had always been nice to them. Even though her sister died during the war, she somehow managed to accept that Ben is not Kylo Ren and forgave him. She was also very funny, Rey liked her a lot. As she kind of considered Finn her older brother, she looked at Rose as her older sister.

Rose was four years older then she was, and they liked to be around each other. Rey was so happy for Finn to find someone like Rose.

\- He's not my prince, but he's still sleeping. 

\- So you admit he is a prince! Ahaaa!

\- Well, he is the son in Princess Leia, so I guess that's right.

\- But why exactly is he not yours?

\- Rose! What do you mean? I don't own people. He is his own. He is my... - she was looking for a word that would express their relationship and the true meaning of it - other half. Yes, that's it, he's my other side, kind of - wondered aloud.

\- And there is no romantic side of those two sides?

\- No, I already told you, it's not like that. We are a dyad in the force. It means that we have this special connection, and we could feel each other's thoughts and feelings... It's just like we're a very close brother and sister.

\- Who sleep in the same bed?

\- Yes, we are very close.

\- So would you sleep in the same bad with Finn?

Rey imagined the scenario and her face went into a grimace. Rose laughed, and felt that her point was proven.

\- So why has not anything happened between you two? I saw how you look at each other.

\- Rose, please don't let me have to tell you the same thing I just said a minute ago... But what do you mean how we look at each other?

\- Ok, just tell me this - she looked around and lowered her voice - has he ever kissed you? Or at least has he tried?

\- No - said Rey trying not to blush, and her breakfast suddenly needed all her attention.

\- Rey. Ok, let's imagine that I believe you. Though, you are red as a rose, my namesake, so I'm pretty sure there is something here, you're not telling me. What is it? Did you tell him not to try to kiss you?

Rey shook her head, still picking the food on her plate.

\- Ok, whatever it is, there is something here, so just think about it.

Rose stood up, said bye and Rey waved her off. She stayed at the table, sipping her tea and until she saw Ben showing up at the entrance. They usually didn't meet at breakfast, but today Rey was staying late, and he seemed to have woken up earlier than usual. Maybe he has a meeting or something.

They could always sense each other's presence very strong when they were in the same room, so Ben headed to her as soon as got hold of his food.

\- Hi! - he greeted Rey.

\- Hey! - she know better than to start a conversation this early. He secretly called his morning persona Kylo Ben, though she never mentioned this to him, because it was still a touchy subject.

She tried to watch him without him noticing. She got another cup of tea, and she was drinking it slowly, every sip being a chance to glance at him. She had always found him very attractive, those expressive brown eyes, his full lips, and his hair. He liked his hair the best. Today he was wearing a beige shirt and a leather jacked. She imagined that it was an outfit that Han Solo would have been proud of. He looked really handsome actually. He looked like he is still in the process of waking up, and could actually use a hood to hide from people, but he looked at her questioning:

\- Something's wrong? Why are you watching me? Is it bad news? Someone we know died?

Rey was surprised he noticed her watching, but after all, they did have a force connection, no matter how hard she tried to close and hide a thought. Her tactic was putting those things she didn't want him to see into the back of her mind, where it was accessible, but looked irrelevant. She did this now, too.

\- No! No! Everything is fine, everybody lives, no bad news, I just thought you looked good today and that fall is probably coming, so I should get some warmer clothes, too.

He nodded, acknowledging what she said and returned to his coffee. It was time for her to leave, too. She stood up, and as she was leaving she kissed Ben on the cheek. He looked up surprised, and watched as she was leaving. That was not their usual way to say goodbye. Or do. Like ever.


	2. A conversation with Rose

Now, she was laying on her back in the forest. In the middle of the training course actually. She had completed the first half of it as usual, then came the new addition. It was a ropes course with 3 remotes from different sides and the goal was to get to the other side after you collect six different things from six parts of the web. It was hard, and she felt that she couldn't focus enough right now. After collecting 4 of the things, she got frustrated with the remotes. It didn't matter how she blocked, at least one of them still came through. She was sweating, panting, and just let herself drop among the ropes to the ground.

She lay down, till holding on to the fake gemstones, she collected. She was looking up and trying to catch her breath. 5 minutes passed, 10 minutes past, and that's when she heard him coming. She was watching him arrive at his own challenge. He looked around looking for the gemstones she took. She yelled up smiling:

\- I got four, but I left you the other two!

He looked down to her all serious and just nodded. Ben was jumping, shielding, crawling until he got the remaining 2 gemstones. Then he did the same thing Rey did: slipped through the ropes to the ground and lay next to her. He was breathing loudly, but he still managed to say a sentence:

\- You know you are actually supposed to collect all of them. And not let any left for your... force-friend.

She laughed:

\- Ok, so dear force-friend, then what would you have collected if I hadn't left you anything. This is such a fun thing to do, I wouldn't want you to miss it for the world.

\- You think so? You really liked it? - he didn't notice the sarcastic tone in her voice.

\- Actually, no. This is difficult. And I just couldn't do it. Those stupid remotes, kept getting to me - she turned her head to her left to see his face and what his reaction was. Ben turned his head as well:

\- Oh, sorry. Ohm, if you want, maybe we could practice it together. Luke taught me a technique how to face more then one fighter at the same time, and I was using it here - it's not that difficult really, you could learn is pretty quick.

She wasn't saying anything.

\- I mean if you want to. You don't have to. Just saying.

She still didn't say anything, but a tear slipped out of her eye. She wanted to wipe it away, but Ben was faster. And now, he sit up, and pulled her up and into a hug. It was like on Exegol, but less life-threatening factors.

\- Hey, it's ok, your fine. You'll learn it, no big deal - he was stroking her hair that was let down today.

\- How do I want to train other Jedi, when I don't even have the slightest idea of these things?

\- You'll learn, you'll practice, you have time. I'll help you with this thing, or whatever you need. But hon, you already have everything you need. These are just stupid things that you can pick up from books - Ben pulled away and looked into her eyes -, but what you have that cannot be learned: your self-sacrificing spirit, your generous heart and your persistence of the good in the world.

Rey heard the wisdom in his words, and maybe it was Rose's stupid thing in her mind, but she really wanted to kiss him right now, but she didn't, and she also pushed the thought to the back of her mind.

\- Ben, I... - she hesitated.

\- I know.

They walked back holding hands, not talking any more.

\------------

They always had dinner together, if they had the chance. Sometimes others joined them, sometimes it was just them, but this was their time to share how their day went. Now, she was happy that Poe joined them, and asked her all kinds of questions, while Ben was occupied with BB8, who was basically his pet now. It was really nice of Poe to let Ben borrow BB8, it was kind of therapeutic to him to talk to the little droid.

As they finished, Rey excused herself, because he wanted to find Rose - what they were discussing in the morning, and started as chit-chat, didn't sit well with her. She was sitting outside with Finn, even though it was already getting dark. She didn't want to disturb their date, but Finn, who was sitting back to her sensed her presence, turned and beckoned her over.

\- Heeey. Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt your date, guys, I'll go, no worries.

\- No, no, no, Rey, what's up, tell us! - Finn asked.

\- Ohm, I was actually wanted to talk to Rose. It's girl stuff...

\- Girl stuff? Well, if my little sis and my girlfriend want to talk girl stuff, then I'll go. Maybe I'll discuss guy stuff with Ben.

He was obviously joking, because if he could avoid Ben, he did, but Rey's eyes flinched for a second, and he noticed.

\- Hey, I'm just kidding! You know that I don't talk to him. Also, if this is about him, he's hurting you, I'm making Rose tell me, and I'm going to kill him. Slowly and painfully.

Rey got herself together, so she could just smile it off:

\- Well, keep your torturing equipment, because he's fine, I'm fine, nobody is hurting anybody.

\- Ok, if this was a lie, because he's watching through your bond thingy, now blink two.

Rey laughed, but try to keep her eyes as open as possible, just to make sure Finn doesn't get any ideas. He was observing her for a bit, then he shrugged and left.

Now, Rey was sitting across Rose and she just didn't know how to start, so he started where they kind of left off in the morning.

\- Ben didn't kiss me... but I did kiss him. Twice. So there was kissing, but it was me who started it.

\- Well-done, girlie! Today? - Rose was very cheerful.

\- Nooo. This is ancient history! The first was on Exegol, and the other one on Ahch-To, like the day after.

\- And since then?

\- What do you mean?

\- I'm guessing he wasn't protesting. So that's it? You kissed him twice and that's it? Case closed? Finito?

\- I mean we were figuring out this force bond thing, and it wasn't exactly easy with him turning and us coming here, then Finn's little private action and then everybody knowing that he sleeps in my bed - and explaining everyone that it's sleeping, not something else. It was tiring. It is tiring. And I'm just happy that we finally worked it out - we have a system, and it's working and it's perfect, and I don't want to start over.

\- OK, I understand, you kissed, then you didn't kiss, now you're fine. So what is the matter? - Rose didn't seem to understand.

\- Rose! I'm not fine. I was fine until you started to talk about romantic sides and Finn in my bed - she made the same face she did in the morning - and now I do want to kiss him. Ben. Not Finn. Obviously. But I can't.

\- You can't, because...?

\- Because it's working, I can't mess it up and go back to square one. To the awkward phase, when you don't even know if it's going to work. And if it's not, I'm still connected to him. Rose, I cannot screw this up. He's not someone I can just leave behind if it's not working. I could go to the edge of the galaxy and he would still be there. Do you see the problem?

\- But you still want to kiss him? - Rose had that really cute smile, when she was smiling with her eyes too and you would want to pat her head as you would to your puppy.

\- I still want to kiss him. But what if he doesn't?

\- I don't think that's a problem...

\- You don't? Why?

\- I mean... Have you seen how he looks at you? - Rey looked clueless, so Rose went on. - Like you are his greatest treasure. Like you are the only thing that matters to him. Like you're perfect. Like he would do anything to make you happy. Why do you think he's here, dealing with Finn's shit? Sometimes, I think he looks at you like a really thirsty person looks at a cup of water. That is how.  
I say you go for it.

Rey looked puzzled, she needed to think about it.


	3. Date on the beach

Rey asked Ben to teach her that technique he mentioned the day before. She woke up with a new determination and energy and decided to commit her day to practice. In the morning, they meditated together, then Ben showed her his memories of Luke telling him how to share his attention, how to trust the force to be his eyes. Ben also showed her how he does it, then they practiced it together. They ate lunch together - a huge lunch, because they used up a lot of energy - then Ben had some errands to run, but Rey went back to practice afterwards, and then she ran the whole course again.

She checked and she did a pretty good time. Ben said that he would join her later, and now she was waiting for him at the end. It was the edge of the forest, with a beautiful lake that she adored. Huge amounts of water always amazed her, and now she decided to take off her boots and put her feet into the water. It was cool, but in a refreshing kind of way. She was just staring the distance, feeling the Force, feeling all things alive around her, when Ben arrived.

He looked like he was running and he basically fell out of the trees.

\- You ok, Ben?

He was catching his breath but he nodded, then sat down next to Rey, and started to take of his shoes as well.

\- Water is always a great idea. Do you have some to drink?

Rey gave him her waterbottle, and he drank. Now it was the two of them staring at the distance and feeling the Force, and all living things around them.

Rey broke their silence

\- Ben, can I ask you something?

\- Sure, anything.

Rey was too shy to say this out loud so she just sent the question through their bond:

\- Have you ever thought of... kissing me?

\- Kissing you? – he was stalling trying to find the right answer, except that he had no idea what right meant in this case.

\- Yes, have you... have you ever imagined kissing me?

He thought honesty was the best way to go:

\- Yes. - The word echoed through their bond. - But I also didn't have to imagine it, because you kissed me. Twice.

Rey didn't know what to say, but she pressed on because she finally had the courage to ask, and she didn't know if she will ever be able to do this again:

\- But did you ever want to kiss me?

\- Yes.

\- Well, you cannot be accused of talking to much...

\- Rey, I cannot talk more about this with you, ok? He started to put his shoes back on, getting ready to leave. Rey couldn't feel anything through their bond, but he looked... frustrated? - But why? Why not?

He didn't use his thought to communicate anymore, and almost shouted:

\- Because if we go on, I AM going to kiss you. And that's not happening! We're not doing that!

\- Would you please stop yelling at me? - she yelled. - Why are you not..? Is there something wrong with me? -

\- With you? How could you possibly think that? You are the most caring, most generous, most beautiful person I've ever met. I've been wanting to kiss you since, well... longer than you would think. Not because of you, but because of me. I'm not good enough for you. And Rey... You are training to be a Jedi. And both of us know what that means.

She stood up, but Rey grabbed his hand and pulled him back down to her, back to the ground:

\- Since when...?

He sat down, really close to her, and looked into her eyes. He seemed to have given up the resistance, because now he was looking at her the way Rose described it.

\- Since that time we were touching hands - he touched her face, and stroked it, she gently put her hair behind her ear - You were sitting somewhere, you reached out to me - he opened his side of their bond, so Rey could now feel those feelings he felt - and I felt that I could trust you.

He was leaning closer to him still looking into her eyes, but kept talking softly, as if he didn't want to scare Rey way:

\- You understood me, you accepted me. I saw it on your face. - he leaned even closer, and his eyes were mesmerizing her - I don't think I ever wanted to do anything more than to kiss you then. Or since then...

Rey felt her heart pounding in her chest. They were very close now. She licked her lips, and looked at his lips. She wanted to kiss him pretty bad, but what she really wanted was him to kiss her, and he still waited.

\- Ben - Rey whispered.

She closed her eyes, and then their lips touched. He was very gentle. She could feel his hand around her face, and her hands involuntarily moved to his face, and she brushed through his hair.

They left their bond completely open, and their feelings echoed through it, mirroring each other.


	4. To sleep or not to sleep

Time seemed to go in a different speed than usual. Maybe half an hour passed, maybe more, but for them, it seemed like time has stopped completely. The sun already went down, and it was getting colder. They were sitting on the beach, still kissing. They sat embracing each other as close as they might never have been before.

As he was stroking her back, he felt her suddenly shudder, so he pulled away. He just looked at her for a minute, as if he was trying to capture all of her with his eyes.

\- You're beautiful, you know? - asked the Ben. She didn't say anything and tried to pull him back into another kiss, but he didn't let her. - Hon, we gotta go. You are cold and we'll miss dinner.

She nodded and let him pull her up to a sitting position. While she was putting her shoes on, she was wondering about something:

\- Ben, have you done this before?

\- Would you believe me if I said no?

\- So you have?

\- Well... not like this...

\- What do you mean?

She could feel shame and guilt come from him.

\- Hey, you don't have to... You don't have to tell me, and you don't have to feel this way. You were a different person than you are now - she felt instinctively that it was something Kylo Ren did.

\- Thanks... And Rey. If you want, this never happened.

This was so gallant of him, to let her back out without having to feel awkward or embarrassed. Ben was such a gentle spirit, so attentive. She wondered if it was something he learned from his mother. She also could imagine the pain of having to get rid of this part of his personality. Or actually, all those things that made him Ben. Take that away, and there's nothing left, but a shell full of self-doubt, loneliness and anger. That was Kylo Ren, but that was the past.

\- No! I know we have a lot to figure out with well, with everything. But I trust us. We'll be fine - she took his hand and together they walked back to base.

By the time they got back, Dinner was over, but they went into the kitchen to get some of the left overs, then they headed to their room, because it was getting late, and morning started early at the Base. Even for those, who preferred to sleep late.

Ben was already in bed, but Rey started to organize her clothes, clean the table they had, and she was about to start on the books as well when her eyes met Ben's, who must have been watching her for a while:

\- Hon, what are you doing? - he was understanding, yet he didn't have a clue what was going on.

\- We kissed - she stated.

\- Yes, I know, I was there. And...?

He still didn't get it, so she looked away and continued what she was doing.

\- Rey, don't do this! Tell me what's wrong!

She didn't know how to express herself, so she just let her feelings and wordless thoughts run through their bond to him.

Ben still didn't have the slightest idea what she meant, probably because she didn't either, but he tried his best to understand:

\- Ok, help me here. We kissed, I know that part. But I'm still Ben, the same person who was in this very same bed with you over the past two weeks. You don't want to sleep in the same bed, because we kissed. I don't see the logic here. Is this that famous woman logic thing?

Rey walked to the bed and sit on top of the blankets, trying to figure what her feelings meant. She started slowly:

\- I guess, I'm just thinking... you know... couples don't really sleep together... I mean they do, but not like we do... Or did... - she started to feel uncomfortable - You know what I mean... Shouldn't we sleep in separate beds? Not like anything would happen tonight, it would be too fast - Rey started babbling as she so the shocked expression of Ben -, definitely too fast or wouldn't it? Or would you want that? And that doesn't necessarily mean that. You know, just something, I don't know - she talked faster and faster and Ben desperately wanted to interrupt her, because he could see that Rey is feeling more and more emberrassed and he felt it too, but for a whole different reason:

\- We're a couple? - that was all he could squeeze out of himself.

\- We're not a couple? I mean no, we are not, definitely not! I don't know why I said that! We're not, we're not... you're right!

Ben was staring down at the blanket in front of him, Rey was speechless, too. They were sitting on the bed facing each other, Rey hugging her legs, Ben had one of his legs stretched out, the other pulled to himself, on which he was resting his head. He looked at Rey:

\- You have just always brought so much joy into my life. Even when I was Kylo Ren, you were my light. You still are my light. And I'm just surprised that's all. We can be a couple if you want. Whatever you want is fine for me as long as it makes you happy. Really, anything.

\- Hey, that's not how it works! It's not like I decide we do something and then you have to go through whatever it as, because you're grateful to me or whatever. We're equals, ok? If you don't want something that's fine. We're not a couple anyways.

\- Ok, then what do you want?

\- I don't care what I want! Tell me what YOU want!

He didn't say anything, but her mind was flooded with flashing pictures he showed her through their bond.

A kiss in bed in the morning. Another kissing session on the beach. Ben talking to BB8 telling him how it's all going well, and after all, Rey did want them to be more than just two connected people. Them in bed doing things that made Rey blush. Them looking at old Jedi texts together wearing Jedi robes. And some other pictures. They were fast and kept going for a while.

Now, Rey was speechless for a minute.

\- It seems like you have given this a lot of thought... - she said when words finally came back to her.

\- Well, do you remember how long I've been wanting to kiss you, right...? - Rey didn't think this would ever happen, but a light blush appeared on his face. She really loved seeing him like this. There was this confident, charismatic, physically strong man that made her feel safe at all times around him, but letting her see his feeling and vulnerabilities made him look so irresistably hot in that moment that she had to kiss him. So she did.

Fifteen minutes later she pulled away. Now they were actually laying on the bed, quite tangled. Rey spoke first:

\- Ok, I guess this is why we need separate beds.

\- All right, moving to the floor, no problem - he said, while grabbing his pillow and, getting some blankets. He put one down threw the pillow over it and lay down on it, covering himself with the other one. It was very uncomfortable and he hoped that the next day he could maybe get a camping bed or at least a mattress.

\- Good night, Rey! - he said.

\- Night, Ben! - came the answer.

He had difficulty falling asleep, and woke up in an hour. Rey was sleeping next to him on the floor.

He would have rolled his eyes if there were anybody there to see it. He got up, and carefully moved Rey back to the bed and then he slipped right next to her. Honestly, he didn't care what other couples did. Or if they were a couple or not. As long as he could be with her and being with her involved kissing, he was happy.


	5. Chapter 5

It has been about two weeks since Ben and Rey first kissed. They agreed that they would keep what is happening between them as a secret. Whatever it was, it probably was not something the Resistance would have supported. It was one thing to tolerate that they were force bonded together, so they would have weird stuff like force-calling each other and sleeping together in the same bed, and it was a whole different thing to openly have feelings for each other. Feelings that are more than brotherly and sisterly love.  
So far things were fine, nobody noticed anything, if we don’t count that conversation when Poe actually seeked Rey out and tried to figure out what was wrong with Ben:  
\- So, you didn’t manage to get rid of your bond or anything? Everything is normal? That’s what you’re saying?  
\- I mean, as far as I know we are still force bonded, and I don’t know about anything that has happened to him... – she slightly blushed and hoped that Poe wouldn’t notice it. He didn’t. – But why? Did he do something wrong?  
\- No, actually... Just the opposite. He generally looks happier. I’ve even seen him smile. Once. That never happened before. Also, the jobs I gave him, he’s done them really fast, and really good. I just thought, you know, maybe you knew something. But I’m never opposed to hard-working, realiable people. I can’t believe how I talk about this guy... He’s growing on me, you know.  
Rey’s heart was flying, and she was happy that Poe kept talking because she just didn’t know what to say for a while.  
This day started out a usual day. As every morning, Rey woke up and left for breakfast early – Ben was still sleeping. She kissed his cheek before leaving. By the time Ben woke up, she was already gone as usual, and he almost missed lunch because he wanted to finish the job Poe gave him.  
After lunch, he was on his way to his room to grab his jacket, when for a second, he felt something strange. It was painful and unpleasand, so he stopped on the corridor, closed his eyes, and listened inside. He was searching the Force to guide him to the source of the momentarily discomfort. And there it was, he felt Rey in a flash – she was unconscious and in danger. The pain in his chest was so strong and sudden that he almost fell to his knees. It didn’t come from their bond, it was the thought of actually losing Rey, that was so unbearable to him. He knew that fear was the way of the Sith and he couldn’t act ont hat. Unconditional love is the opposite of fear, so he needed a moment to concentrate on what he felt towards Rey, her personality that was like a warm ray of sunshine. As soon as he collected himself, he let he Force take over.  
He knew where he had to go – to the generals’ meeting room. He was just their in the morning, because that’s where he got his daily assignments from Poe. He was technically his boss, as well as Finn, but the latter couldn’t stand staying in a room with him. Poe was fine, always careful, but straightforward.  
It was only Finn and a few others in the room, everyone else has aleady left.  
\- Finn! Look, Rey’s in trouble. I can’t contact her, she’s unconscious, and she’s out there! I gotta go help her! I think I can find her.  
Finn looked at him for a second silently, then nodded:  
\- I’ll got get Chewie, you get your saber and some blasters! Meet us at the Falcon ASAP! Give me your hand!  
\- What?!  
\- Man, collect yourself, cause we’re losing time! Give me your hand, so I can remove your tracker, so you won’t be blown up. Yeah, sorry we didn’t mention that in case you leave camp, it detonates... Precautions.  
He wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, but didn’t want to waste time, so he presented his right wrist where the tracker was installed.  
As soon as it was done, they both ran out of the meeting room to get what they needed. Ten minutes later, Ben Solo was igniting the Falcon. He felt both very much at home and like a stranger in it. He remembered his father showing him how the different handles and buttons worked when he was like three. They went on rides together – just enjoying the space around them, not much talking. Ben loved these little trips, and couldn’t wait the time when his father would let him fly by himself.  
He was nearly 16 when he first flew the Falcon alone. Han Solo came to visit Luke and while they were talking in Luke’s hut, he sneaked on board, and just took her for a ride. It was glorious! He remembered being troubled by his own thoughts around that time that kept telling him that something is inherently wrong with him. He suspected that Luke had the same opinion, and he couldn’t get rid of this fear no matter how hard he tried.  
But during that hour of flying, he was free. He was just enjoying himself not thinking of Han Solo, Luke Skywalker or anything basically. He felt so alive like the something has been missing from his life has been found. An hour later he landed the Falcon perfectly where it was before he took her. He was a great pilot, he could feel in his gut how to operate a ship. Both his dad and uncle were furious at him. It was still worth it, he tought.  
He finally saw Chewie and Finn running towards the ship. Both fell into a chair as they arrived. Chewie closed the ramp, and started helping Ben.  
As they took off, Ben couldn’t hold it inside:  
\- You know where Rey is. Where the hell did you send her? I didn’t even know she was off-planet!  
\- We didn’t want her to tell you, ...  
Ben interrupted:  
\- Why? Why would you make her conceal her location from me. I could have gone with her!! I could have protected her!!  
\- That was exactly our problem – you going with her and getting her trouble...  
\- Well, you see, she landed in trouble without me that could have been prevented if I go with her – he said mockingly – And tell me where she went!  
\- To Ilinoid, just to set up diplomatic relations. It is a small planet with many resources that we could use, so we sent her to meet the king of the planet to ask for some kind of exchange. How do you think it would have looked if we send the Supreme Leader himself with her?! I don’t think diplomatics is your strength, is it?!  
Ben sighed.  
\- OK. Let’s just find her, and next time I’ll go with her.  
Finn rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. As soon as they were in hyperspace, Ben stood up:  
\- Chewie, can you take the wheels, while I talk to Finn?  
Chewbacca roared in confirmation, so he stood up, and motioned Finn towards the community area:  
\- Look, man, I know you hate me, and the feeling is mutual, but we have to work together to save Rey. So I know you’re force sensitive, has Rey ever thought anything about how to use the Force...?  
\- What? The Force? What are you talking about?  
\- I’m talking about us might needing not only blaster shooting skills, but some other things. So I’m guessing you don’t have any idea about anything.  
Finn was now cursing his own stupidity for not asking Rey to reach him anything. They’ve been living peacefully at the base for about a month now, but he was just so involved with being a general and his relationship with Rose, that he kept dismissing the idea.  
\- Well, I know how the Force doesn’t work, your father whom you killed told me! – Finn wanted it to hurt, and it went straight for Ben’s heart, but he only slightly flinched and kept his composure.  
\- Ok, then it’s time for the first lesson! – Ben sat as far as Finn from possible. – Close your eyes first and reach out with your consciousness...  
Finn looked confused and in disbelief:  
\- Are we really doing this?  
\- We’ll need everything we’ve got to rescue Rey. Your pretty eyes won’t charm whoever’s holding her into letting her go. So, yes, we’re doing this. Don’t worry I’m not that enjoying this either. You’re probably a lazy student anyways.  
\- I’m still a general, you cannot talk to me like that! – then he closed his eyes. – Tell me what to do.  
Ben murmured something that could have been understood as „sorry”. Then he contunied audibly:  
\- Try to reach out with your consciousness and feel the Force. Feel how it surrounds us. How it is everywhere... – his voice was calm as he tried to remember what Luke told him during their first lesson. – He saw Finn frown in concentration – that is no good. – Ok, try a little less hard! Concentrate a little less! Let yourself relax, just listen with your spirit. Kind of.  
Ben was surprised when he could feel it in the Force that Finn actually connected with it. He couldn’t help but cheered for him!  
\- You’re doing it great!! Try to go deeper!! Feel how it flows!  
By the time they heard Chewie calling Ben back to the cockpit, Finn was able to summon light things to himself. Both of them were really proud of their achievement and after landing Ben distributed the blasters he got with a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

We’ve got Rey – Ben was relieved. Rey was captured by a group of sorce-sensitive bandits that looked similar to the knights of Ren, but they called themselves the Reapers. They knew about the arrival of Rey and ambushed her just outside her ship. She was held prisoner in the cellar of a house, and has been beaten up as part of an interrogation about secret Jedi relics. The leader of the Reapers was convinced that with the power of those, he could grow his power.

  
In Ben’s mind, he was a mental case. Nobody in their right mind would think that some relics would help you grow in the Force... But the guy was dangerous nonetheless. They surprised Rey, who didn’t expect attack on an otherwise peaceful planet, overpowered and took her to their lair. Her friends never could have found them, if Ben didn’t sense her spirit like a compass guiding him.

  
They didn’t need Finn’s newly developed Force skills, but because now he could easily connect to the Force, they could lead the rescue mission in a much disciplined and synchronized way. Chewie used his usual bowcaster to help them. Rey was alone in a tiny room chained to the wall unconscious when they found him. Ben cut his chains and wanted to pick her up and carry her, but Chewie was faster.

  
Now that they were safe, he could concentrate on another pressing matter: killing all who hurt Rey. They fled, but he wanted to pursue them and give them what they deserve – slow and painful death. Finn, and Chewie with Rey started moving back towards their ship, he turned and started marching the other way.  
Finn looked at Chewie questioningly, and he just shrugged, so Finn shouted after Ben:

  
\- Hey. The ship is the other way. Where are you going?  
Ben didn’t turn, but answer:

  
\- To kill those bastards. But torture them before.

  
Finn didn’t know what to do, so instructed Chewie to take Rey back to the Falcon and ran to catch up with Ben. He grabbed his shoulder and wanted to stop him:

\- Hey. This is a rescue, nobody is killing anybody. You hear me?! We’ll inform the local authorities and they’ll take care of it. Ok?

But Ben was a much larger man, who couldn’t be stopped like that, he kept walking.

\- They won’t. The Reapers need to pay for what they did to Rey.

\- Ben! – Finn he usually avoided addressing him, but he thought it might just be the perfect time to start using his name, even though it made him uncomfortable. – Do you hear yourself? Revenge? Paying for what they did? What do you think Rey said if you killed for revenge?

Ben finally stopped – he felt like a cloud had lifted from his thoughts. What am I thinking? What am I doing? He looked at Finn, like he had just noticed him.

Finn saw the change so he grabbed his arm, made him turn the other way, and started to pull Ben with him.

After a few steps, Ben tore his arm away from Finn’s hand:

\- I can walk by myself. And I appreciate if you could not mention this to Rey. – short pause. – Please.

Finn nodded.

Now they were on the Falcon on their way back to Base. Finn was still learning how to pilot, so Ben asked Chewie to fly. This way, after take-off, he could be with Rey. Chewie put her into one of the beds in the sleeping quarter. Finn was already there, and Rey had woken up as well. She was bruised, her face bloody, but Ben still found her beautiful. He wanted to kiss her, but Finn was there, so he just kneeled down next to the bed and carefully stroked her head:

\- Hey, sweetheart! How are you?

\- Now a lot better actually. I just woke up when we were taking off. Finn told me how you found me. And what a good team you guys were. Thank you for coming for me. I would get up and hug both of you, but I don’t have the strength, I think some of my ribs might be broken.

Ben wanted to help her so much, and also compensate for what he almost did, if it hadn’t been for Finn. He put his hand on her side making sure he’s not hurting her unnecessarily, closed his eyes, and transferred some of his life-force into her. So much, that he was dizzy for a moment after, but Rey looked a lot better. The color returned to her face, and she looked in a better shape.

\- You can heal with the Force? Your dad didn’t say that - Finn asked.

Ben looked confused:

\- Everything you know about the Force is from my dad? – he wanted to laugh, but he would have felt guilty if he did that, so he just sent a thought of laughter to Rey through their bond.

\- Ohm, well, he introduced me to the concept, and no one really told me much about it, so... I guess. Except the things you taught me on the way here.

Rey looked back and forth from Ben to Finn, who noticed her questioning look:

\- Ohm, on the way here, he thought that I might need to use the Force, so he taught me a bit, look!

He closed his eyes and looked to concentrate, but nothing happened.

\- I’m watching – Rey said encouragingly.

Finn looked to try even harder but still nothing.

Ben couldn’t help himself:

\- Look at my first padawan! He can frown with the Force! – he chuckled as he looked at Rey then back at Finn – Don’t worry, Finn! Just take it easy, you want it too much! Relax, feel the Force, tap into it and it’ll come to you whatever you’re trying to summon.

But in that moment, he instinctively ducked thanks to his Jedi reflexes, because where his head was, now a screwdriver was flying towards Finn. He quickly caught it grinnig.

Ben high-fived Finn. Rey couldn’t believe what she was seeing. If I knew this, I would have got myself captured earlier – she thought.

The rest of the trip was eventless. Eventually Finn and Ben took the other two beds and fell asleep. They only woke up when Chewie signaled that they are about to land.  
Finn and Chewie got out first, Chewie saying something about eating.

Ben was still in the cockpit as Rey was walking out after her friends:

\- Rey, can you come back and help me check this thing out? – she heard Ben’s converned voice.

As much as she waited to have a shower and drop into their bed and sleep at least three days, she heard the desperation on Ben’s voice.

\- Sure, coming... Finn – she looked at her best friend – thank you again!

She found Ben still sitting in the pilot’s chair, but he stood up as she came back, crossed the distance between them:

\- I am the thing you need to check out – and pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. – Rey, you can’t leave me like this again. – he whispered into her ear.

\- Ben, it was a diplomatic mission, not even a dangerous thing and I was going to come back! – she whispered back.

He pulled away a bit, still hugging her looked deep into her eyes.

\- Next time, I’m going with you. Why the heck do you think the Jedi operated in pairs? So if one gets into trouble, the other can pull them out of it. Ok? It makes sense.

You, going alone does not.

\- You know, you can’t... They wouldn’t let you... The Generals... They would not have you off-planet...

\- I was just off-planet with one of them! And you talk about them as if they were strangers! They are your friends, Rey! Your friends! – as his voice rose as her face turned hurt, he added – Sorry.

He leaned closer and kissed her again. Their kisses became more and more passionate, and Ben picked her up, walked to the seats, sat down, and pulled Rey onto his lap. His left hand was on Rey’s waist, the right gently touching her face, were she got injured.

\- I thought I was gonna lose you. I didn’t even know you went off planet.

\- I couldn’t tell you. – she interrupted.

\- I know... But that feeling... when I sensed that you were in danger, unconscious somewhere and I couldn’t simply just run to you and help you. I thought it was going to kill me. It would kill me if something happened to you.

Rey couldn’t bear to look into his eyes, because he could see the hurt in them.

\- I’ll talk to Finn and Poe...

He sighed in relief.

\- Thank you – he leaned closer and kissed her shortly. As he was about to kiss her again, he noticed someone from the corner of his eye, on the clearing. Finn was staring at them through the front window in disbelief. Now, he was shaking his head looking angry. Rey saw the change on Ben’s face, so she turned to look what caused it.

They both stood up and ran out of the Falcon. Ben fell behind, because he knew it was going to be Rey who will have to do the explaining.

\- Finn, stop!! Please!

Finn finally stopped and turned around:

\- What are you thinking?! Hm? What, Rey?! I almost started to like this prick... Let’s just stop for a minute: have you taken the time to think about what you’re doing? – his voice was rising, which made Rey look around anxiously, because they were close enough to base so people might have been able to hear them –

\- Please, keep it down!!  
Finn went down a few notch, but continued his tirade.

\- For starters, he is a traitor – actually a traitor of both sides. This is with whom you want to associate yourself?! We all understood this force bond thing, it’s not something you wanted or chosen, so we accepted it with all its stupid quirks. But actually deciding to... I don’t even know what this is – he was making a circle with his pointing finger around them as he was saying this -, but I know for a fact that he’s not worth it. He’s not good enough for you, Rey! Not someone like him!

Rey could feel the agreement and remorse from Ben. It cannot be happening... – she was thinking, and she tried to collect herself:

\- Hey! You don’t get to decide who is good enough for me and who is not, all right? I’ve been making my own decisions since I was 6 and I’m not going to let you have a word in something that is none of your business.

\- Even if we put this aside, Rey, you’re a Jedi for heaven’s sake!! You’re a Jedi! Have you ever heard of the traditions and all that? No attachment and that? I’m sure you did, so what is it exactly that you’re doing?! And you...! – now, Finn was looking at Ben, but just couldn’t bring himself to use his name again! – I thought you wanted the best for Rey! Can’t you see that you are no way in hell the best thing for her? You’re distracting her! You’re not letting her become the Jedi she was meant to be! I’m almost sure she got captured because you distracted her!!

Ben turned around and started walking back towards the Falcon. Rey didn’t even dare to try to check his feelings through their bond, she still knew that Finn’s offensive comments were Ben’s deepest concerns and fears about their relationship. Rey was mad at Finn for doing this. Partly because she didn’t feel ready to confront the thought of herself being a Jedi and not having Ben. This was her fight, her decision, and she understood why Ben had left – she knew he agreed with Finn on both topics - them being not good enough for her, and not being attached.

She calmed herself, and looked Finn straight into the eyes:

\- Look, Finn! I understand what you’re saying and I know that you care about me and want the best for me... So I’m asking you to just hear me out and try to understand me a bit, so maybe you could understand me.  
Finn was surprised by her low and almost relaxed voice.

\- Shoot! – he nodded.

\- Ok, just think about this: you’re force-sensitive, you could train and become a Jedi. You have it in you and I know that you yearn for it. I saw how much you enjoyed that trick, Ben taught you. But becoming a Jedi would mean giving Rose up. Would you do it?

His face looked painful as he imagined it:

\- I wouldn’t give her up for anything! Not for a thing! Not even for becoming a Jedi.

\- Well, ok, great! I feel the same about Ben. I would give the world, so we can stay together. Being a Jedi is something I love, but without him – it wouldn’t make much sense to me... Yet, I am the last Jedi, I have to finish my training and start a Jedi temple to train a new generation. I cannot just leave and stop... You see the problem.

She took a deep breath, because she was about to declare something that she was thinking a lot about, but not even in her thoughts was she brave enough to put them into words. He didn’t even let Ben see them, because she knew he would object.

\- So I’m changing the rules. Because they are stupid, and because as I am the last Jedi, I can. Just look at the past – the whole reason Anakin became Darth Vader was that he couldn’t legally take the woman he loved as his wife. Then, Luke... He was all alone, training the next generation all by himself. He was in my shoes, or rather I’m in his shoes now. Of course, he went crazy after a while, who wouldn’t under this much pressure and responsibility. He was completely alone in it, that’s not normal! So I’m not doing this alone! I’m having Ben, we’ll both become Jedi, and stay together... And just imagine this, Finn: you could also become a Jedi. And you could marry Rose. Or whatever your plan is with her... Just imagine!

\- Rey, this is wrong! This is just wrong on so many levels!

\- This is my decision and I will make it the way I see fit. All, I’m asking from you it that please, think about it. Think about becoming a Jedi. And how fun would it be to train together! Ok, but going back to reality... Finn, please just don’t talk about this to anyone. Ben and me, I mean. We are still figuring this out, and I haven’t even told him about wanting to change this rule. He’s so much more strategic than me, so he’ll know a lot better how to handle this. Just, please don’t tell anyone about us!

\- I don’t know, Rey... – he shrugged and started walking back to base leaving Rey frozen right where she were.

Rey started walking towards the Falcon. She desperately needed Ben’s comforting hug. She was dead tired, and this fight with Finn didn’t help her case.  
Ben was sitting on the ramp of the Falcon, his head dropped. She collapsed next to him, her hear on his shoulder.

\- You know, Finn is right... – he started.

\- No, he’s not. Ben, you left before you heard what I told him

\- I actually did. I listened through our bond. I distract you, I’m not good enough for you, and you cannot just change thousands of years of traditions.

\- Well, I might just do that. And the distraction thing is so not true. I was captured because I wasn’t careful enough, I left my guard down and was too confident... And you know, I think we actually make each other better. You know I always time myself on the training course. Since that night on the beach, I’ve been running radically better times. That’s on you, my friend! And Poe just asked me the other day what was wrong with you? And you know what was wrong? He said you did your job twice as fast, twice as good. You know, I think Jedi started this stupid celibacy thing and never for a second thought about how twisted this was. Loving someone is definitely a vulnerability, but it also gives you an extra boost, and extra motivation to do things right. Just think about this! And now, please, take me to the sleeping quarters, because I don’t think I would be able to walk anymore.

  
Ben stood up, picked Rey up, and took her to one of the beds. She was already asleep, but when he tried to lay her on the bed, she opened her eyes, and grabbed Ben’s shirt.

  
\- Don’t you dare giving me a „you’ll be better of without me” shit! It’s not true, you know that. You said you’d do anything as long as it makes happy... You make me happy! So you better not think about getting rid of me... Please, be here when I wake up! – she curled into her usual sleeping position and left herself drift off.  
Ben put a blanket on her and cozied up on another bed thinking about what Rey said. Well, he did kind of promised to make whatever makes her happy.


End file.
